How You Should Eliminate Problems (Part III)

What if you could put an end to all of your problems?

As mentioned last Friday, I understand how it feels when problems drag you down — life by nature is messy. After overcoming three mental health hospitalizations and since studying in philosophy and psychology, I will share to you what will eliminate your problems and make your life superior to what it was before.

On the other hand, you’ll live with unnecessary problems, waste time, and be unhappy.

Here’s your plan to eliminating your problems:

1. Carry out the separation of tasks.
2. Deny the desire for recognition.
3. Be earnest but not too serious.
   

Today will focus on explaining principle three, so if you’re interested, read last Tuesday and last Friday’s post before seeing this one.

Be earnest but not too serious says to do your best, but overextending or punishing yourself, or attempting to others, will create problems.

The Courage to Be Disliked, which explains psychologist Alfred Adler’s principles in detail and effectively through a conversation between a philosopher and a youth, provides an analogy for explaining this principle: Live like you’re dancing.

When we step on other’s toes by intruding on their tasks, for instance, we should move on swiftly — continuing to share in the dance with others. It’s better to continue the dance than storm off the dance floor. Others might step on your toes, too, dancing in a way you did not anticipate. Again, it’s up to you on whether you make it out to be a big commotion.

But what if someone takes advantage of you? Drag you into dancing their way, or worse, take your wallet and run? This is a valid point to severe the relationship. In fact, being taken advantage of is the only reason one should severe an interpersonal relationship. Never seek revenge or hold resentment (be too serious), but have courage to confront that individual if possible, and severe from them completely if necessary.

Why? Because seeking revenge or holding resentment hold you from the dance floor — from doing your tasks.

Which begs the question: why should you do your tasks?

First, doing your tasks should bring you a feeling of contribution, what Adler uses to define happiness.

Indeed, when you are asked the cliché question, “What is happiness?”, please remember: Happiness is feeling a contribution to others. That’s all it is. Hence, there’s no meaning to life except the meaning you give it.

Putting dance analogies aside, when we help our friends (tasks of friendships), our loved ones (tasks of love relationships), and others with our work (tasks of work relationships), we achieve the following objectives of all individuals: (1) being self-reliant, and (2) being in harmony with others. We say to ourselves what we all should be able to, “It’s OK for me to be here.”

Not doing your tasks achieves the opposite: we don’t become self-reliant, we aren’t in harmony with others, and we struggle to say — without lying — “It’s OK for me to be here.”

In summary, we eliminate problems by carrying out the separation of tasks, denying the desire for recognition, and being earnest but not too serious.

There’s more that can be said on Adler, but I think this discussion is a great answer for those who need help now. Other principles by him can be harder to swallow, but I will address them in due time.

Imagine living your life with others in harmony and being self-reliant with greater confidence.

Carry out the separation of tasks. These three principles by psychologist Alfred Adler will help you to eliminate your problems indefinitely, feeling relief, and in little time.